My first CAT scan!

Had my CAT scan today. They gave me a GIANT berry smoothie to drink 45 minutes prior to the appointment. I've had my fair share of Jamba Juice. This was NOT a berry smoothie. And when I showed up at the hospital, they gave me more to drink. Their product will not be getting an endorsement from me. They had me lay down on this platform in front of what I can only describe as a “Stargate” portal. In fact, the whole room felt like I was preparing to board Space Mountain at Disneyland. After 15 minutes of vigorously slapping my arms, they determined that I was vainless and had to bring over yet another expensive looking piece of technology that they called “the vein finder”. Once they located their prey, they jammed an IV into my hand and told me to pull down my jean shorts. I still don't quite know why that was necessary, but whatever. Needles in arms, and pants around ankles, the platform that I was lying down on started moving forward towards the Starcraft portal. I was certain that any minute it was going to shoot me forward like the Matterhorn Bobsleds, and I actually braced myself for that to happen, but it never did. I did get to see laser lights all over the inside of the portal, and a friendly robotic voice told me when to breathe and when to STOP breathing. The technicians told me to prepare for the iodine that I would get through my IV. Next thing you know, my ears got really hot – like I was wearing some sort of earmuff/heatpad contraption. Well, that's weird. My crotch is also really hot. Kind of like.... OH CRAP! Did I just pee myself?! Is this one of those adverse reactions that I skimmed over?! I try desperately to see if my undies were wet, but the techs keep telling me not to move. So there I am with my pants around my ankles, unable to move, wondering if I just paid a $200 copay to use a $300,000 piece of sci-fi equipment as a toilet. Luckily, I kept my bladder in check and the sensation was simply that. They told me I was done and I took off out of there like I had robbed the place. Good times.